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Joke of the Day

"My Dad's Maths Joke: Why do programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because Dec 25 is Oct 31 Edit: corrected because I'm a fucking tool"

"Can't figure out why my dog licks his balls. They taste fcuking disgusting."

"""Pick a pencil. Look at it. Now put it back with the other pencils. Was your pencil the number 2?""-Steve, shitty pencil magician"

"A few dad jokes a customer told me. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear How does a hamburger introduce his girlfriend? Meet Patty."

"The Band "" The Ghost Inside "" bus was just involved in a fatal crash I guess that means there could literally be a Ghost Inside, the bus."

"Alligators and Condoms Are two things I don't fuck with"

"A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, ""yes, you are."""

"What is ISIS' favourite file type? .exe"

"How did Jamie find Cersei in the long grass? Satisfying."

"Once you've seen one shopping centre... You've seen the mall."