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Joke of the Day

"I'm still learning my pronouns... But that is neither here nor there."

"What's the difference between Helen Keller and a redneck Helen Keller got famous for not being able to read"

"I bet you that Michael J. Fox was just shaking in anticipation for this day."

"My neighbor got an iPad! I know this because I always steal his mail. My new iPad is awesome!"

"HIM: If you're upset that people think you're weird, have you tried being less weird? ME: [eating ice cream with chopsticks] Yes."

"What's up? Up is the Y-axis relative vertical direction opposed to down."

"Why did the president start the bar fight? So he could pass the bill."

"I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn't really work otherwise."

"Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters? She had never learned to spell properly."

"What does an African child's mom say when it doesn't finish its dinner? What mom?"