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Joke of the Day

"One obtuse angle says to the other, ""Oh man it's hot in here!"" The other one replies, ""Yeah, it's over 90 degrees!"""

"[me, to my brother] I can't believe we've never been to Coachella [my Ukrainian grandfather] when I your age, bear eat my wife"

"I fear for the calendar... ...its days are numbered."

"Trying 2 improve my self image, so I placed a note on my mirror that reads ""objects are smaller than they appear."""

"If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me."

"Cilla Black has died... Surprise Surprise."

"What does Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump have in common? Jeffrey Epstein."

"So, a guy gave his friend 10 puns, hoping that one of them would make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did."

"What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !"

"In my family i'm the youngest of three. My parents are both older -Stewart Francis"