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Joke of the Day

"If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me."

"Stores in baltimore have been completely looted. all that's left is sunscreen and father's day cards. sauce: http://imgur.com/gallery/Tae9PI5"

"Early Time I'm on a Whiskey diet, I lost three days already."

"Did you hear the joke about the guy who shined a light at his shadow? It starts off dark, but the ending is bright."

"Turned off my lights for ""earth hour"". I've never had so many other cars honking at me."

"LGBT should rename themselves BLTG. It's more tasteful."

"What Is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One is white, made of plastic, and very dangerous if left around small children. The other is a plastic bag."

"What did the little girl say when opened up a box of Cheerios? Awww, look daddy, doughnut seeds!!!"

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth Hurty!"

"Earlier today I had a Titanic thought. It was *unthinkable*."