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Joke of the Day

"They're marketing headphones specifically for gorillas now Rumor has it they'll be called Harambeats. I'm so sorry."

"PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher ""can i use the bathroom?"" ""i don't know, CAN you?"" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk*"

"I wonder how many other Sandy's have come into men's lives and taken their cars and houses, too."

"Why did Hitler lose the war? Because his tanks wouldn't stop Stallin'."

"If I had a penny for every time you made me feel worthless; I'd be worth something by now."

"What happens when you piss off a blind mobster Your neighbor gets a horse ass in their bed."

"Thank you all for the Happy Birthday wishes!!! Had a GREAT DAY!!! (didn't read a single one)"

"The Riddler always struck me as the Batman villain most likely to have been a pickup artist."

"No matter how good your raspberry body wash smells, don't be tempted to drizzle it over your ice cream. I've been burping bubbles for days."

"A young Jewish boy asks his father for $50... His father says, ""$40? What do you want $30 for??"""