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Joke of the Day
"Glockenspiel Germanic efficiency brought to the game of Russian roulette."
Next Joke
"Commercial for Twitter: ""Are you tired of arguing with people you actually know?"""
"TL;DR The fine bros me: i'm allergic to peanuts fine bros: is that an allergic reaction? me: yes fine bros: see you in court"
"INTERVIEWER: ""How would you describe yourself?"" ME: ""Verbally, but I've also prepared a dance."""
"why do mice have such small balls? They can't dance very well."
"Every woman thinks her husband is a moron. And they're absolutely right because smart men don't get married."
"What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant"
"What's the difference between regular sex and anal sex? One makes your day and one makes your hole weak."
"Me: Heeeeyyyyyy Judy, good morning! *scratches Judy's back, wiping off my Cheeto fingers* Judy: Hi!!! How are y..... Me: *walks away*"
"After all they crap between them..Can you believe they are still together? ""Who?"" My butt cheeks."