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Joke of the Day

"INTERVIEWER: ""How would you describe yourself?"" ME: ""Verbally, but I've also prepared a dance."""

"How did So-Cal celebrate the double anniversary of the LA Riots and Cinco de Mayo? Rodney King Pinatas"

"Why do I have migraines? Well I can't have yourgraines, now can I?"

"I heard that comedians never tell jokes about the Jonestown massacre. The punchline is too long."

"A man holding a large block of asphalt walks into a bar. He says to the bartender, ""A beer for me, and one for the road."""

"How do you tell a rabbit from a gorilla? A rabbit doesn't look like a gorilla."

"In person it's lying, but in texting, you can just call it a typo."

"Sorry but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin."

"Why do they say cleanliness is next to godliness? Because every time i talk dirty to my wife she tells me to go to hell."

"I hate when I tell my girlfriend to call me when she's feeling sensible and then 2 years go by before I realize I'm probably single."