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Joke of the Day

"When I shake hands with a fat guy I don't like, I do it extra hard to get a good moob bounce going"

"18 holes What do you call the area between a womans vagina and butt hole? *The driving range, because that's where I hit my balls!*"

"Did you hear the one about the pregnant bedbug? She gave birth in the spring!"

"*paints car camouflage* *stops making payments*"

"God, designing a toddler: ya know what would be hilarious would be if it has no ability to reason but talks nonstop. Also make it trip a lot"

"The real reason reddit is so popular is... copy Paste clickbait"

"A pirate is never late.... (x-post from Funny) A pirate is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to. Although admittedly drunk, on fire and uninvited."

"Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax."

"Lesbians should not be allowed to buy dildos, they made their choice!!"

"there was this confusing 'do not touch' sign in the mall. I just can't put my finger on it."