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Joke of the Day

"They told me to imagine a guy holding a jug full of water. But I just couldn't pitcher it."

"Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It's the ocean! That's where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!"

"What does a beggar and a PHP programmer have in common? They both work on crowded platforms."

"Statistics show that six out of seven dwarfs... ...aren't happy."

"*doesnt stand for national anthem as protest against people who don't stand for national anthem*"

"Argon walks into a bar. And the bartender says, ""We don't serve Noble Gasses in here!"" Argon does not react."

"*Shocking News*: Critics Say Kindergartner's Homework ""Doesn't Add Up"""

"Doctor Doctor I've broke my arm in two places Well don't go back there again then!"

"Capitalization is important. NSFW Capitalization is the difference between ""I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse."" and ""I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."""

"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."