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Joke of the Day

"Capitalization is important. NSFW Capitalization is the difference between ""I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse."" and ""I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."""

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"A star walks into a ... A star walks into a black hole but doesn't seems phazed, the black hole turns to the star and says, I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation."
"Why is Boromir such a hit at orgies? Because when he blows his horn everyone comes ;)"
"Before you get into an argument with someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when the argument starts you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."
"People keep complaining about 'Let it Go'... The song never bothered me anyway."
"8/11 Never Forget What? Too Soon?"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Czech ! Czech who ? Czech before you open the door !"
"[Morning after wedding] *dead husband lies on bed* PRAYING MANTIS: [On phone] Mom *sobs* it happened again MOM: Ok hurry up and eat his body"
"PREGNANT CASHIER: Have a great day ME: Thanks, have a great baby"
"I've just bought a film on DVD about a prisoner that finally gets parole. I've waited years for it to be released."