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Joke of the Day

"Forgot to turn on the grill, burgers been on there for half an hour, I know cause the tv show I like's over & nothing's on fire."

"I think I owe my right hand a Valentines Day card!"

"What is the most common death among square dancers? Over Do-se-do."

"Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school? I wouldn't fit through the door."

"I took a Viagra earlier and it got stuck in my throat... I've had a stiff neck for hours."

"I asked my North Korean friend how are things over there. He said he can't complain."

"*takes your order* *goes to kitchen* *comes back* ""did you say grilled cheese or gorilla cheese?"" grilled *sighs* *goes to kitchen*"

"I am sure I chose the right song for Richard's funeral Lonely Island - Dick in a Box"

"Does the five-second rule apply to soup? Please hurry. Edit: Nevermind."

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what they're laced with but I've been tripping all day..."