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Joke of the Day

"yes off course i'm an American My friend calls me up and asks ""Hey are you free tonight?"" And I say of course, I'm American"

"Why wouldn't the mother take her kids to the classical music concert? Too much sax and violins."

"When someone says ""but i thought..."" in defense Well, a guy thought that shit is a sugar so he shat into his cofee. How did that help him, hm? Props to my dad for this one."

"Why is a frog luckier than a cat ? Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !"

"My doctor told me I needed to see a rheumatologist... I told him that's a strange way to say interior designer."

"I've never written a first draft of something that didn't make me think anyone who read it would immediately cut ties with me as a person."

"Who would still buy a Note 7 after all the controversy? A Muslim"

"Nick Clegg I just found out he was a politician! I thought Nick Clegg was just what you do to stop Oscar Pistorius from getting away."

"While I'm not much of a cook, I know enough to cut sandwiches in triangles to make them taste better."

"Who makes a million dollars a day? Someone who works in a mint."