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Joke of the Day

"yes off course i'm an American My friend calls me up and asks ""Hey are you free tonight?"" And I say of course, I'm American"

"I think Congress should be forced to go on minimum wage. That way I can feel more comfortable calling them public servants!"

"When my wife asked me to stop being a flamingo... I had to put my foot down."

"What is Romeo and Juliet's favorite fruit? Cantaloupe."

"Did you guys see the lunar eclipse the other night? I missed it, the earth was in the way."

"When the ""M"" of MTV was for music & not for maternity... Those were the days"

"*Vladimir Putin dining* I want Russian fries ""They're French fries"" Not for long *crosses Ukraine out on agenda & lists France* Not for long"

"So, I measured my penis with one of those digital rulers... ...Anyone know how to convert LOL into inches?"

"They say when a man meets the right woman, he is complete. When a man meets the wrong woman is finished. When the right woman meets the wrong woman with the man, he is completely finished."

"The other day I ran into my Ex So I backed up and ran into her again."