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Joke of the Day

"While I'm not much of a cook, I know enough to cut sandwiches in triangles to make them taste better."

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"Two snowmen are standing next to each other in a field when one looks over to the other and asks: ""Do you smell carrots?"""
"Hitting on a girl at a bar.... She keeps telling me ""Dan, I'm bisexual, I'm bisexual."" I say ""That's great. I buy sex too. How much?"""
"Chelsea FC captain had a night to forget, his performance was Terryble"
"I'm trying this Paleo lifestyle where I live in constant fear and die at the age of 28"
"If you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of their haircut."
"The final death of 2016.... Mariah Carey's live performance career"
"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."
"What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus? A bus driver."
"Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine."
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