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Joke of the Day

"All the girls I've ever kissed can agree on one thing. It's weird that I have a beak."

"I was pretty shocked when my dad came out of the closet. Now I can only wonder if my other dad knows."

"Why did the Irish man only eat two hundred and thirty nine beans? If he ate one more, it would be too farty!"

"Why are lemons yellow? They don't know it either - that's why they are so sour"

"911 What's your emergency Me: I'm calling to complain about the quality of this cocaine 911: The police are on their way Me: Thanks"

"Why should you never play poker with a crocodile? You will lose every hand."

"There was a pair of Siamese triplets, but they wanted to be a pair. So they cut out the middle man."

"Did you hear Bruce Willis tried to overdose on viagra? He wanted to Die Hard."

"Scott Summers (X-Men) is dead.. ...by watching his navel. (I don't know if this joke works in English)"

"Its Wrong To Have Sex Before Marriage Girl (While moaning during sex) : Its wrong. Boy : But I love you. Girl : No its wrong. Boy : I will marry you soon. Girl : You stupid cunt, the hole is wrong."