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Joke of the Day

"I was pretty shocked when my dad came out of the closet. Now I can only wonder if my other dad knows."

"I don't know why people object to CIA torture methods. Who doesn't like to go water boarding?"

"I like my women like I like my file systems..... FAT & 32."

"I was very impressed by this child's witch costume. Until I realised she was just an ugly midget in a black dress."

"I recommend you chickens learn to talk. Nobody ever said let's go get a bucket of parrot."

"My pig stepped on a land mind under a tree... Now I have a porky pine."

"She: 5 mins babe He: Ok *discovers a new planet* *travels to it* *discovers life* *returns back* He: Ready? She: 5 mins babe"

"[NSFW] What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America."

"My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, ""Who murdered this guy with a pipe?"""

"Three Muslims walk into a bar... They get shot, because Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol."