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Joke of the Day

"Strip search? ... OK, but I'm going to need some background music."

"Jesus, the first pin up model"

"Wife: You only half-listen to me. You're in a boatload of trouble. Me: Yes, let's buy a boat."

"What did the African have for breakfast? E Bol A Cereal"

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"I'd be the worst 911 Operator. ""Uh ma'am I think you mean he was lying in a puddle of his own blood, not laying."""

"What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common? They both made the news for not being straight."

"My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting drunk."

"Archaeologists have discovered a mummy in Egypt encased in chocolate and surrounded by hazelnuts They are calling it ""The Pharaoh Rocher"""

"A man came back from the fruit and veg shop without buying anything. The trip was fruitless. edit: wording"