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Joke of the Day

"I know you're not supposed to question doctors, but it's weird how my dentist keeps insisting on checking my prostate."

"Her: You don't have to cook me dinner, we can just go out. Me *tossing a jellyfish in the air like pizza dough* No it's fine I don't mind.."

"What is long, green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."

"On a scale of Alligator to Gorilla.... How shitty of a parent are you?"

"How do you know the universe likes Saturn? It put a ring on it."

"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is a child molester"

"If you were a basketball, could I drive you, and lay you up?"

"Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting? I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit."

"Q: Why wasn't there any food after the monster party? A: Because everyone was a goblin."