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Joke of the Day

"If you were a basketball, could I drive you, and lay you up?"

"Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because its worth it!"

"So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster Now it doesn't work."

"Confucius say Breasts without nipples would be pointless."

"Did you hear Viagra now comes in a nasal spray? It's for dickheads!"

"Why was the blonde upset when she got her Drivers License? Because she got an F in sex."

"90% of the contacts in my phone are useless"

"Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom."

"*DJ scratches a sick mix* [crowd goes wild] *DJ scratches a puppy's ear* [crowd ""awws""] *DJ scratches Lotto ticket* [crowd ""oohs""] *wins $1*"

"Did you hear about the woman who tried to bribe the police with pennies? She was taken in by the coppers."