122010

Joke of the Day

"How do you know the universe likes Saturn? It put a ring on it."

"Cute waiter: Hi, what can I get for you? Me: *accidentally barks*"

"You have so much potential But no kinetic energy, therefore you will never go anywhere in life."

"Did you know that the average prom... Did you know that the average prom now costs $1,000 dollars. Actually, it costs $2,000 if you count the abortion."

"As I stood there looking at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself ............I'm gonna get thrown out of ikea in a minute.."

"Somewhere, a ninja watches ""I Didn't Know I was Pregnant."" An imperceptible smile creeps across his lips. ""Damn right you didn't."""

"Did you hear Miley Cyrus does webcam gigs from her lounge now? You might say she's twerking from home."

"I've spent the last hour masturbating on the couch. This psychiatrist seems to be taking a lot of notes."

"What is Biz Markies favorite farm animal? Ewe, ewe got what I neeeeeed."

"American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?"