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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick."

"Here's a bit of advice for you. Advi."

"Come forth... God: John,come forth and you shall receive eternal life! But john came third and won a toaster."

"I like my women how I like my buscuits Covered in semen."

"""There's approximately a 50% chance there will be weather today."" -meteorologists"

"I was going to buy a hairpiece... ... But it was too much toupee."

"What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA? Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters."

"In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg... That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!"

"Why was Hitler late for work? He tried driving a new route to work, but instead of taking the second left, he took the third reich."

"What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection? I can maintain polite conversation."