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Joke of the Day

"In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg... That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!"

"Think Im Sarcastic? Watch Me Pretend To Care!"

"I saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching Genders."

"What suicidal space creature did Kirk find on the Enterprise? A Tribble with troubles."

"*ex GF pulls up to drive thru where I work* ""Big mac please"" ""Would u like LIES with that?!"" *my boss dragging me away* ""LIES, LUCY.. LIES!"""

"If you win three games of Twister in a row you're automatically a yoga instructor."

"What's the difference between bullets and people? People miss Harambe"

"Hey, say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they slow down in school zones."

"Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they literally cannot EVEN right now, ugh!"

"How many South Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A Brazillian."