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Joke of the Day

"A guy goes to a record store to pick up a Meshuggah CD... but he can't because it's too heavy."

"Don't assume Wal-Mart sells walls. Unless you want an argument about existential reality with an 85-year-old greeter."

"Things I hate 1. haters 2. r/jokes 3. lists"

"What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!"

"What's the best way for a prostitute to advertise? Word of mouth."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a registered six offender."

"Q: Why did the kid punch the bed? A: His mother told him to hit the hay."

"I know what you did last summer. Stayed inside, probably. You're super pale."

"Wanna know the secret to a good marriage? Sleep. Cant do anything wrong while sleeping. Unless you talk in your sleep, then youre dead."

"What's the difference between a queer and a refrigerator? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out!"