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Joke of the Day

"Don't assume Wal-Mart sells walls. Unless you want an argument about existential reality with an 85-year-old greeter."

"What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut? A Barbecue. Christmas crackers are just full of laughs."

"Always a metermaid never a meter"

"Sean Connery walks into a bar. He says ""I'd like a single shot."" The bartender says ""That's a good idea because if you had the chickenpox, the virus is already in you."""

"A satyr walks into a bar... (that's the whole joke)"

"[wife frantically searching the house] Have you seen the kids, I've looked everywhere [me napping on couch] OMG HOW LONG HAVE WE HAD KIDS"

"What do you call someone that lives next a horse? Their neighbor"

"My husband grew a beard and suddenly I'm having to karate chop every woman we pass."

"Two old ladies, sat in a cafe eating a teacake. First one says, ""did you come on the bus?"" Second one replies, ""yeah, but I made it out to look like an epileptic fit""."

"Seriously, get off the computer once in a while... smell the roses... volunteer... show your balls to a turtle... make a ham fort..."