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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you suck air through your fist while bobbing your head back and forth? ;}"

"If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater."

"#1 pick up line in a gay bar? ""Can I push your stool in""?"

"Why did little Johnny fall off the swing? ...he didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike? Someone threw a fridge at her."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]"

"I got called 'fag' a lot as a kid Until the day I stood up for myself and punched my mom in the face."

"So they've announced Taken 3..... So they've announced that they're making a Taken 3. I'm starting to think that Liam Neeson's very particular set of skills are a bit shit!"

"Why did the rabbit go to rehab? He was hopped up on easter eggs."

"My gf was a virgin until recently ;) Too bad I still am."