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Joke of the Day

"If King Kong came to England why would he live in the Tower of London? Because he's a beef-eater."

"Figured this is an appropriate time to tell this. What is an Undertaker's favorite element? Barium."

"I'm doing my own taxes so I'll probably be in jail this time next year."

"Why did the football coach go to Aldi? To get his quarter back!"

"What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color? GINGER."

"A woman called me sexist the other day. Silly women, I hate ALL black people equally."

"With the recent success of mining for Chileans, I'm just hoping the U.S. doesn't try drilling for Farm Laborers."

"Computer Science major walks into an English class The Professor says ""Welcome to English 101"". The student panicks. ""What's wrong?"" asks the Professor. ""I missed the first 4 English classes""."

"Sorry, the dog stood on my keyboard and liked that Instagram photo of you from 47 weeks ago."

"I really need to go on the show Survivor. Not for the money or the fame. It's just the only way I'm ever gonna effectively lose weight."