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Joke of the Day

"I once ate a watch It was time consuming, I didn't go back for seconds."

"LPT: If you're cold, try standing in a corner. They are usually about 90"

"Sometimes I keep Facebook open in two tabs to remind myself I'm worthless."

"Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great Food! No atmosphere."

"My wife told me some guy at the bar was buying her drinks all night to get me jealous. We'll it worked. I wish he was buying me drinks."

"A man was asked if he was Indecisive He couldn't make up his mind."

"First boy: She had a beautiful pair of eyes her skin had the glow of a peach her cheeks were like apples and her lips like cherries - that's my girl. Second boy: Sounds like a fruit salad to me."

"Why can you only date girls named Ana?... ...because I got a tattoo that says Ana"

"If iron man and silver surfer teamed up... They'd be alloys."

"Sarah Palin bought up all of Alaska's pancake mix She's trying to keep her son from battering women"