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Joke of the Day
"NEVER date someone that works for your cell phone provider. You're welcome."
Next Joke
"If an elephant and a rhino have a baby, what do they make? Elephino! (Hell if I know)"
"Women complain about men using them only for sex as if sex is a bad thing. Sex is awesome. Start complaining when he starts using you for cooking, laundry and baby sitting while he is out having fun."
"Every tweet ever tweeted begins with an implied ""None of y'all asked my opinion, but ..."""
"My son just said he likes 'the booty'. So now I have to convince his mom that the Cinemax show he watched with me was about pirates."
"do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth ""starting now?"" yes ""the judge looks like squints from the sandlot"""
"Penn State has missed two extra points today which is weird because they are usually pretty consistent about doing the little things."
"There are 2 types of people in the world Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."
"How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows. No one ever watches the choir director."
"One time I accidentally gave my cat acid. Thought he would really freak out but he just looked at me calmly and said meow for 10 hours."