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Joke of the Day

"My son just said he likes 'the booty'. So now I have to convince his mom that the Cinemax show he watched with me was about pirates."

"What does the L in Samuel L Jackson stand for? Motherfucking"

"If you are going to send me boob pics, try and save them in the right image format. As a Nerd it's a major turnoff to get a .bmp"

"You should be able to make your GPS call you a code name. ""Bobcat, in 3.1 miles turn left"" ""Recalculating, Bobcat, you're going rogue."""

"Did you hear about the dyslexic occultist? He sold his soul to Santa."

"Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11? Americans can't milk a cow for 14 years"

"What's a pilots favourite artist? David Boeing."

"Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you."

"What do you call an explanation of an Asian cooking show? A wok-through."

"Someone once told me, ""GO FOR BROKE"" !! I'm happy to report that I succeeded..."