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Joke of the Day

"They should make an iPad with a fold-open keyboard that can sit on your lap."

"Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side"

"My friend Richard is protesting against the unjust treatment of Gorillas Dick's out for Harambe."

"When the devil buys your soul he makes you sign a contract because even though he is pure evil he has an unshakable respect for tort law."

"Dogs do their social networking on Assbook, via the World Wide Whiff."

"Maybe if we start telling people the brain is an app they will start using it."

"What did the cat say when he lost all his money ? I'm paw !"

"[posing for mugshot] ""now turn forward"" [flash] lemme see"

"My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside."

"DATING TIP: Play hard to get. Train to be an astronaut. Fly into space and leave Earth behind. Then text your crush and be like ""what's up?"""