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Joke of the Day

"My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside."

"What mysterious hair product does Lucifer use to keep himself looking good? Arcane-gel!"

"Why can't a blonde count to 70. Because 69 is a mouthful."

"I can't believe I lost my candidacy for mayor of my hometown I kissed so many hands and shook so many babies."

"What do fish think about air? It's UN-B-REATHABLE!"

"Do you know why Morgan Freeman's name is Morgan Freeman? Because his first name is Morgan and his last name is Freeman"

"I'm well versed in Mexico's version of Judo. Judo know if I got a knife... Judo know if I got a gun..."

"My 9 year old daughter just beat me at Wii baseball... I'll bet she's on the juice."

"Q: Why did the haunted house not like rain? A: Because it dampened his spirits."

"Well my father always told me, ""when life gives you lemons, chances are you're in the fruit aisle and shouldn't overthink the situation Edit: words"