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Joke of the Day
"I hate it when I open Twitter and miss a week of work."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Nun in a Wheelchair? Virgin Mobile."
"My daughter put a horse's head in my bed this morning. It was from an animal cracker but conveyed the message pretty clearly who is boss."
"Yeah, that's it. I was an hour late for work because I forgot to adjust my clocks. That is also why I smell like liquor."
"Sex while camping... Is fucking in tents."
"Poached salmon on a bed of brown rice with peas or Roasted duck with polenta and organic green beans? Choosing dog food is hard."
"A baby seal walks into a club. buh dum tssss."
"Two Flies Two flies were sitting on a turd. One of the flies farts. The other fly looks at him and says, ""Hey! Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here."""
"If I had a dollar for every repost I've seen I'd be a millionaire"
"If you're ever unsure whether a person is a muppet or a human try shoving your hand up their ass."