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Joke of the Day

"There's a pigeon walking up the driveway. I don't care what he wants. I'm not answering the door."

"A police officer goes to investigate an artist's death... His report details it as being ""pretty sketchy."" I'll leave now..."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!"

"Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive? Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See? It works doesn't it?"

"Any party is an ugly sweater party if you're ugly and you sweat a lot"

"Why would I donate 2 to save a kid's life? I'd rather spend that 2 on a condom to prevent a kid's life."

"There were many docks along the seashore, but one of them couldn't handle itself and collapsed. Why? Pier pressure!"

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls, they're under a buck!"

"Sure, white people can't say the ""N word"" but. atleast we can say phrases like, ""Thanks for the warning, Officer"" and, ""Hey, Dad."""

"Teenage Driver: But officer I'm a college man. Policeman: Sorry but ignorance is no excuse."