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Joke of the Day

"Why did the H blow itself up? Because the Jihad."

"English man reaches for his wallet to pay hooker.... She replies ""oh, so you want me to pound you?"""

"When a man can't open a jar, he has to throw it away and never speak of it again."

"I called the Paranoia Hotline: This guy answered and said, ""How the hell did you get this number?"""

"Why did the Energizer Bunny go to prison? He was charged with battery."

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off"

"What do you call a man with one arm? Hand Solo"

"Are you Flappy Bird? 'Cuz I wanna tap you till you crash."

"Q: What happens to an air conditioner when you pull its plug? A: It loses its cool."

"Waiter waiter! There's a dead spider in my soup. Yes ma'am they can't stand the boiling water."