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Joke of the Day

"When I was little and asked Mom how to spell a word she'd hand me a dictionary so when she asked how to do emojis I handed her a 13-year-old"

"What is the worst part about the Orlando massacre? Finding out that your son was gay."

"My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex... Just this morning she asked me ""Is that the best you can do?"""

"What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them."

"What's a sailor's least favorite color? Maroon"

"When I was young, I grew up in a theme park.. The theme of the park was trailer."

"I went into panera the other day The clerk said, ""do you want a side of chips or a French baguette?"" I replied, ""never baguette."""

"Why did the police drop the charges against the man accused of being an olive branch? Because the charges wooden stick. My humblest apologies. * The case! Drop the case! Ah fuckit."

"My favorite pick-up line: Hey girl, my name is Tony. You know what that is backwards? Y not."

"The Model Her Garb was just pure Garbage, and she had a silly old Bag: she drank so much that we all went Dutch.-and of course she lost her Rag."