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Joke of the Day

"A lot of women at the mall make me feel like I'm tripping on flaccid."

"Pay attention to funeral dress codes Sombre is only a couple of letters away from Sombrero"

"My daughter wants to be something scary for Halloween this year so she's going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door."

"How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!"

"GTA: Online servers"

"Whew, good thing there's a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we'd be in real trouble."

"Your call is very important to us. So please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? NONE!"

"Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow has the udder"

"Hey Dad did anybody call for me when I was out? ""Yeah some girl named Jenny"" ""Jenny who?"" ""I don't know. Why don't you call her and ask."" ""She leave a number?"" ""Yeah 867-5309"""