131837

Joke of the Day

"My daughter wants to be something scary for Halloween this year so she's going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door."

"A mushroom... A mushroom walks into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender walks over and says ""Hey, we don't serve your kind here!"" To which the mushroom replies ""Why not, I'm a fungi!"""

"""Report Spam"" is the elevator close door button of Twitter."

"For not knowing what's going on, dogs sure look embarrassed when you watch them taking a dump."

"When I play fighting games I press random buttons and hope for the best."

"You can't change the past. But you can sit around in your underwear, dwelling on it and crying over what could have been."

"A girl told me how hard it is for her to gain weight. I said it's hard for me NOT to. We had a good laugh & then I punched her in the face."

"How many elves does a german santa have? Elf."

"The tourist: ""Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park Sites?"""

"Did it hurt when you fell down from Heaven?"