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Joke of the Day
"Nobody heard those terrorist attacks coming... Never forget the tragic events of mime-eleven"
Next Joke
"I like writing my own chemistry jokes... Because the only good ones Argon."
"""WHAT ARE WE TO TELL THE CHILDREN ABOUT GAYS MARRYING?"" Dunno. I'll ask my 5-year-old, who just married her stuffed bear to a stuffed pony."
"""Hey man what happened to you, you look like you've been in a fight?"" - ""You should see the other guy..."" ""He was fucking huge, I didn't stand a chance"""
"i wish humans were as excited to meet each other as dogs"
"My girlfriend said she was leaving me because of my obsession with soccer So I said ""On loan or permanent transfer?"""
"If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter. Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll."
"[From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit"
"What do you call a man standing up to his knees in water? Wade"
"Hey girl, did you get your tickets *lips slowly part to reveal a mouthful of tiny little teeth with massive gums* to the GUM show?"