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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? I can't make a vitamin"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just beat the walls because they are black"

"What were the martyr's last words? I believe in peace in our time"

"Two satellites get married The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!"

"What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pool? Fucked"

"Two scientists walk into a bar. One asks for H2O, and the other asks for H2O too. They both die because the bar was in Flint, Michigan"

"Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole."

"The USA just beat Germany 2-0 Just like the score for the World Wars."

"What did one sausage say to the other? You are the wurst."

"You shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night. Especially since you walked there."