75737

Joke of the Day

"Shakespeare walks into a bar and the barmen says... ""Get out! You're Bard"""

"""Hippos are actually more dangerous than crocodiles and sharks combined."" - Moron who clearly hasn't pictured a Crocoshark."

"I heard Justin Bieber has an 8 inch cock But it's in his ass and belongs to Usher"

"Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys."

"""Did you realise that a woman's ""I'll be ready in five minutes"" and a man's ""I'll be home in five minutes"" are exactly the same?"""

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible... ...but it's also terrible."

"Why would you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can make dinner and get head at the same time."

"What does FEMINISM stands for? **F**ighting **E**quality and **M**en to **I**nstitutionalize **N**arcissism and **I**gnorance and **S**top **M**eritocracy"

"Why couldn't the hipsters save the hippies? They were too far out."

"OMG I love you You're the best You left me Did you bring me stuff OMG Anything I don't care Where have you been I smell someone else -Dogs"