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Joke of the Day

"Ghosts are pretty cool because they can literally do anything they want, but they choose to hide my keys."

"I woke up and found Sarah Jessica Parkers head in my bed. I guess I pissed off the mafia."

"Why couldn't the blind black man play hockey? Because he was black."

"What do older women wear? Depends"

"A Liar, a Murderer, and a Cheater walk into a bar... The Patriots must be in town."

"Love is like a box of chocolates However good it tastes you know it will inevitabley turn to shit."

"Hypochondria? I think I have that!"

"What's the best thing about being homeless... You don't have to duck and cover during an earthquake."

"Went to see a show about the dictionary. It was a play on words."

"My girlfriend accused me of cheating She sure is starting to sound like my wife"