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Joke of the Day

"Wouldn't it be great if twitter had a roped off VIP section where celebrities could keep their boring tweets to themselves?"

"What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob."

"If I could have sex with any historical figure it would be Marie Antoinette. I hear she gives good head."

"Cats are great for testing because they have 9 lives."

"What concert can you get in with just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback."

"obama follow me on twitter"

"What does Joaquin Phoenix say when a car almost hits him? ''Hey! I'm Joaquin here!''"

"A blonde was asked why her list skipped every other number... She replied I can't even"

"What did the beaver say when he fell in water? Damn it."

"I am taking a shot for every ""like"" I get on this status. Then again, I'm taking shots whether you bastards like it or not."