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Joke of the Day

"Scientist believe that coworkers are the main reason why humans developed middle fingers."

"Everything I need to know about whether or not cops are allowed to search my car I learned from Jay-Z songs."

"There was a counter top on layaway at Home Depot. They said it was for the Packers' punt returner, Hyde. It was for Micah."

"Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?"

"How many Viet Nam vets does it take to change a light bulb? You don't know? That's right, you *don't* know, because you weren't there, man!"

"My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer."

"I broke up with my girlfriend over religious beliefs She didn't believe I was god. (Credit: Artie Lange)"

"Where does the Easter Bunny lay his eggs?! In the grass.. So WHAT DO WE SMOKE TO CELEBRATE?! [all the children] Grass?? Yessssss."

"i must be really good on the phone Whenever I call a company, they tell me they are going to use my call for training purposes."

"Did you hear about the man who had his whole left side bitten off by a shark? He's all right now."