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Joke of the Day

"There was a counter top on layaway at Home Depot. They said it was for the Packers' punt returner, Hyde. It was for Micah."

"Did you know Helen Keller is on the back of the Alabama quarter? ""No, and I bet she hasn't heard about it."" ""She probably hasn't seen it either."""

"How did a hipster burn his mouth? Drank his coffee before it was cool"

"What's a pickup artist's favorite breakfast? Steak and negs. In shame and solitude"

"I ask myself, what city has the most feminists? Manhatin'"

"Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy"

"Where did Saddam Hussein keep all of his CDs? In Iraq."

"Have you ever thought about the word racecar and how it's a palindrome? Put it backwards and it spells racecar, put it sideways and it kills Paul Walker."

"''Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.'' -Jesus flirting in a bar"

"Drug dealers are always late. If your drug dealer is on time, it's the police."