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Joke of the Day

"How is a librarian like a sex addict? Their favorite past time is between the covers."

"Sorry I started singing Bohemian Rhapsody at the accountability meeting, but you said ""easy come, easy go"" so I just ran with it.."

"My cat doesn't listen to a word I say. That's why the cell phone she made me buy her only has a text message plan."

"When you give up and stop believing in yourself, it's much easier to worship and idolize another. That's how ass kissing and celebrity worshiping begins."

"When I become famous... I want to get a huge marble bust made in my image. But I'm getting ahead of myself."

"if theres 'national public radio'? (npr) is there also 'private public schools'?"

"What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic? One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian."

"My teacher said he doesn't like imaginary numbers because the uses are limited. I asked him whether he was for reals."

"Why did the angry ant fall off the toilet seat? Because it was pissed off."

"Let's emotionally damage each other and call it Love."