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Joke of the Day

"I'm not sure why my dog enjoys watching me have sex but I'm sure deep down she's thinking ""B itch stole my move..."""

"50% of a woman's magazine is telling you to accept yourself - you're beautiful just the way you are! The other 50% is telling you how to lose 5 lbs in a week."

"My friend told me he was terrified of pedophiles... I told him to grow up."

"Q: When is a school paper not a school paper? A: When it's turned into the teacher."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero"

"if you open Door.jar, is the door still ajar?"

"After years of searching, scientists have finally found the gene for shyness... ...hiding behind two other genes."

"I was thinking about making a sodium joke ...but Na."

"There's a great horse joke I'd like to trot out... But it's lame :("

"I'm 97% sure President Reagan would be riding a horse through the Middle East right now punching terrorists in the face."