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Joke of the Day

"I'm 97% sure President Reagan would be riding a horse through the Middle East right now punching terrorists in the face."

"A man who forgets his wife's birthday is certain to get something to remember her by."

"How did the lion lose at poker? He was playing with a cheetah."

"Whenever I tell dad jokes he laughs."

"What do you call a time traveler who masturbated in the future? A blast from the past."

"[SPOILERS]What was the main difference between the scripts for 'The force Awakens' and 'A new Hope' ? The title."

"Anthropologists found a group of people whose religion forbids them from being angry They're called the Nomads"

"[on intercom] Pilot: does anyone know how to land an airplane? asking for a friend, i swear"

"*Me, getting my arm bitten off during a zombie apocalypse* 5: *crying* Me: It's okay, son. 5: You said you were gonna get me a snack."

"Why is Halloween a crackheads' favourite holiday? Only two more sleeps til' Christmas!"