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Joke of the Day

"What does Nic Cage have in common with Asian fathers? Oh God, not the B's! Not the B's!"

"How many Redditors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It doesn't matter, they'll just compliment it a lot and then complain because it won't screw."

"It only took four men to wallpaper my house, but I had to slice them really thin."

"My surname: 'Ever.' My given forename: 'Superior'. Similar to a torn talofibular ligament, I am not one to be trifled with."

"My girlfriend is on her period... She calls me Dracula."

"Damn girl, if you was a fruit you'd be a fineapple, if you was a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital as often as I could."

"What did he green grape say to the purple grape? BREATHE!!!"

"Really short Mexicans should be called paragraphs Because they're not long enough to be an essay..."

"3 cows are standing in a field Cow 1: did you hear the outbreak of mad cow disease? Cow 2: good thing I'm a helicopter Cow 3: Holy shit a talking cow"

"Why did the chicken run across the road? Because walking is for suckers."