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Joke of the Day

"if you open Door.jar, is the door still ajar?"

"I love to build things... I love hammering, I love sawing, and I love sanding. But drilling is just plain boring."

"We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour."

"What is the ultimate pleasure? To rub peanut butter on your dick and then run through a kindergarten."

"My eyes physically can't roll any higher up into my skull to show you how annoying you are."

"How do you tell if someone is opposed to GMOs? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Name your penis after a movie or a game. Oblivion."

"What did the big programming number say to the small programming number? UShort."

"Why was Les miserable? He was French."

"What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu? For swine flu, you use oink-ment and for bird flu, you get tweet-ment."