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Joke of the Day

"Went into the kitchen to look for pot and all I found were pans."

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"So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem... Comes out of nowhere"
"Friends are like snowflakes. If you pee on them they disappear."
"Christian pop music? You mean holy shit?"
"I have an archaeology exam tomorrow And it doesn't matter if I pass or fail because either way... My future's in ruins."
"Freda: Boys whisper they love me. Fred: Well they wouldn't admit it out loud would they?"
"There is a thin line between Numerator and Denominator. I bet only a fraction of you get this."
"Actual advice Mallard in a recent interview denounced his internet fame. It was quite a pro duck shun."
"Who burns their own city down? The people of Ferguson."
"The reality is that a lot of girls out there just aren't prepared for a nice, decent guy."