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Joke of the Day

"The reality is that a lot of girls out there just aren't prepared for a nice, decent guy."

"Buying In Bulk In theory: Oh good, I'll have enough chips to last all month In reality: I'm gonna eat 5 family size bags of chips tonight"

"Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket? He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin."

"The way I see it, the only thing my daughter's little ""boyfriend"" needs to know about me is I ain't afraid to go back to prison."

"Every time I tie my shoe I feel like I'm giving a faraway sniper the go signal."

"I haven't heard a good poop joke in a while... find them all to be a bit corny."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche? Porcupines have pricks on the outside"

"It's cute that you think everyone is jealous of you. We actually just don't like you."

"it's always sad when you have to take your sick goldfish out to the pasture and shoot it in the head."

"What's the best thing about fingering a gypsy woman who's on her period? You get your palm red for free."